{"id":805,"date":"2014-05-22T18:07:34","date_gmt":"2014-05-22T18:07:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jenfrederick.com\/?p=805"},"modified":"2014-05-22T18:07:34","modified_gmt":"2014-05-22T18:07:34","slug":"charlotte-xxx","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jenfrederick.com\/test\/charlotte-xxx\/","title":{"rendered":"Charlotte XXX"},"content":{"rendered":"

Nathan<\/em><\/span>

I stay up until two in the morning so I can catch Charlotte right after she wakes up. Nick has fallen asleep behind me, the game controller still clutched in his hand. He\u2019s dead to the world. I switched over to a movie but I\u2019m not really seeing the super soldiers fighting the aliens. I\u2019m thinking about everything. My future. Charlotte\u2019s health. Where we are all going in a year or two years. I\u2019m having uncharacteristic second thoughts. I never have doubts. Doubts are for people still trying to figure it all out.<\/span>

I\u2019m not saying that I know it all, but I know myself. I want to join the military, do something worthwhile. I want to be with Charlotte. I want to have a family. I want us all to be healthy and safe forever. Kind of in that order. Otherwise, I\u2019m just a dudebro getting drunk, hanging out, and leeching off my old man. Thanks but no. Of course part of not being\u00a0that\u00a0<\/em>guy is making sure you aren\u2019t crushing your girl\u2019s self esteem by ignoring that there are somewhat questionable pics being sent to everyone the two of you know.\u00a0<\/span>

Said old man would be all over my ass about talking to Charlotte about this issue right away, just like Nick was. \u00a0I get up and head to my room, abandoning Nick to the company of infomercials flickering silently on the television screen.\u00a0<\/span>

\u201cHey baby,\u201d I say when she picks up on my first ring.\u00a0<\/span>

\u201cNathan.\u201d My name surfs out on a tide of relief and gratitude which makes me feel doubly the asshole. I\u2019m responsible for making her feel insecure by not addressing the weird things that Greta has been doing.\u00a0<\/span>

\u201cI completely screwed up,\u201d I start. \u201cI want\u2014\u201c<\/span>

\u201cYou\u2019ll never guess who\u2019s here,\u201d she interrupts. Without waiting for a response, she hurries on. \u201cColin Matthews.\u201d<\/span>

\u201cHuh?\u201d I don\u2019t know any Colin Matthews.\u00a0<\/span>

\u201cYou know. The son of the actress and the baseball player? He had cancer but then was in remission but I guess not anymore because he\u2019s here. It\u2019s his third time. They\u2019re doing some kind of experimental drug therapy on him that\u2019s not allowed in the US yet.\u201d<\/span>

I rub my forehead as I digest this information. \u201cOkay, that\u2019s interesting.\u201d Not really other than the fact some Hollywood asshole is far closer to my Charlotte than I am. That\u2019s actually not okay at all. I bite back a few choice words that would likely place me in the dickhole category. Words like \u201cDon\u2019t fucking talk to him again\u201d and \u201cDoes he know you belong to me?\u201d\u00a0<\/span>

She blithely ignores my lack of enthusiasm. \u201cWhen I saw him in the common room last night, I was so surprised but he wasn\u2019t very nice to me.\u201d<\/span>

My emotions swing wildly the other direction. This douche was being mean to my Charlotte? \u201cSounds like I\u2019m going to have to come over and teach him a lesson in manners.\u201d<\/span>

She snorts. \u201cHe\u2019s got cancer. You can\u2019t beat up anyone who has cancer.\u201d<\/span>

\u201cOh yeah?\u201d I challenge. \u201cIs there some book that says that? Is that in your medical handbook?\u201d<\/span>

That draws out a full fledged laugh, one that comes from her belly not her throat. She likes when I joke about her illness because it\u2019s more normal for both of us according to her. \u201cYes, it\u2019s number five, right after all your hair falls out. But his hair looks great. I was really impressed. I guess because you guys\u2019 hair grows back so fast and it doesn\u2019t need to be long. Nick\u2019s hair grew out right away.\u201d<\/span>

My eyelid is twitching. She likes his hair? Thinks it\u2019s great? I can\u2019t even remember what I was supposed to say when I first called because the whole time we\u2019ve been talking it\u2019s been about this asshole from California. And she\u2019s bringing up the fact that Nick shaved his head when she was diagnosed but not me?<\/span>

\u201cI thought you didn\u2019t want me to shave my head,\u201d I say hardly concealing my disgruntlement.\u00a0<\/span>

\u201cWhat? Of course I didn\u2019t,\u201d she says. \u201cI was just complaining. My hair makes me look five. Do I look five to you?\u201d<\/span>

She cares what she looks like? \u201cI wouldn\u2019t have slept with you looked five.\u201d I knew that was a mistake before the last words left my mouth.\u00a0<\/span>

She sucks in her breath and then to my utter relief, laughs again.\u00a0<\/span>

\u201cSorry,\u201d I mutter.\u00a0<\/span>

\u201cNo, it just sounded funny. Like I hope you wouldn\u2019t sleep with five year olds.\u201d She giggles again and then sighs. \u201cI miss you.\u201d<\/span>

God, how weak am I that I need her to say those words to me?\u00a0I miss you.\u00a0<\/em>And with that equilibrium is reestablished. I settle into bed. \u201cHow much?\u201d<\/span>

\u201cSo so so much. Like I wish I was there right now and we were holding hands.\u201d<\/span>

\u201cThat\u2019s all?\u201d I ask softly thinking that there was a lot more than just hand holding I\u2019d do if Charlotte were here.\u00a0<\/span>

\u201cUm and other stuff.\u201d\u00a0<\/span>

I can almost hear her blushing. Hating to ruin the moment, the reason why I called resurfaces. \u201cAbout Greta\u2026\u201d I begin.<\/span>

\u201cShe\u2019s being weird, isn\u2019t she,\u201d Charlotte interrupts. \u201cI think she has a crush on you or Nick or both.\u201d\u00a0<\/span>

\u201cWeird isn\u2019t the right word. Stalkerish maybe? I don\u2019t really know but I can\u2019t say I like it.\u201d<\/span>

\u201cIt\u2019s okay. Or rather while I don\u2019t like it, I know it\u2019s not your fault. It just made me feel\u2026embarrassed and even a little insecure.\u201d\u00a0<\/span>

Her voice has gotten soft and small. I cringe. Is it distance that feeds those feelings? Because if that is the case, I\u2019m worried about how she\u2019s going to take the news that I\u2019m leaving after school to go right into Basic. That particular piece of information isn\u2019t ready for consumption outside the family I decide. \u201cYou don\u2019t ever have to be insecure about us baby. I love you.\u201d<\/span>

Her initial response is a huff of laughter. \u201cI love you too.\u201d<\/span>

\u201cWe okay then?\u201d<\/span>

\u201cYes. Totally okay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

If you want the next scene delivered to your inbox on Friday’s, sign up for the newsletter here<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

NathanI stay up until two in the morning so I can catch Charlotte right after she wakes up. Nick has…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2475,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-805","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-charlotte-chronicles","charlotte-chronicles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jenfrederick.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/805","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jenfrederick.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jenfrederick.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jenfrederick.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jenfrederick.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=805"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jenfrederick.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/805\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jenfrederick.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2475"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jenfrederick.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=805"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jenfrederick.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=805"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jenfrederick.com\/test\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=805"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}