{"id":703,"date":"2014-02-07T00:47:45","date_gmt":"2014-02-07T00:47:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jenfrederick.com\/?p=703"},"modified":"2014-02-07T00:47:45","modified_gmt":"2014-02-07T00:47:45","slug":"charlotte-xv","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jenfrederick.com\/test\/charlotte-xv\/","title":{"rendered":"Charlotte XV"},"content":{"rendered":"

A couple of important housekeeping issues. All the prices of my Woodlands books will be going up to $4.99 on February 16 except for SnowKissed<\/strong> which will be priced at $2.99. In the future, all books will be priced at an introductory $3.99 with the price going up to $4.99 after the first month of release. This is designed to reward the early purchasers. Update: I forgot that I plan to run a 99c promotion for Undeclared within the next month or so.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Second, I’ve created a page for the Charlotte Chronicles<\/a>, loosely grouping the parts into chapters and I’ve uploaded the story to Wattpad<\/a> if you want to share with a friend. New parts are released one week early via the newsletter.<\/p>\n

Charlotte<\/i><\/p>\n

There are different colors, sizes and I\u2019m a little stumped by the choices I have.”Where does your sister get all these?\u201d<\/span>
\n\u201cI think when you go to college it\u2019s in your welcome packet.\u201d Greta runs her fingers through pile messing them up and then she re-sorts them. Greta has a lot of nervous energy. One of her extremities–an arm or foot has to constantly be in motion.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m too weak for nerves these days. I only have the energy for\u00a0doing.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t wait.\u201d But really I’m not even sure if that’s a truthful statement. College was once a foregone conclusion. Nick and I had talked about it often\u2014arguing about whether I would go to Notre Dame where Nick hoped to get a football scholarship. Nate, now that I think about it, never participated in these discussions. I’d lived so much in the moment with the future this nebulous forward mass that was simply full of opportunity, hopes and dreams.Was\u00a0being the key word now. My future was still nebulous but the shape of it had changed and I didn’t like looking at it anymore.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know. Me either.\u201d<\/p>\n

She picks up a gold foil one and one that is lime green.\u00a0\u00a0I can\u2019t imagine putting one of these on Nathan and definitely not a lime green one.\u00a0\u00a0I pluck the gold foiled one out of her hands. \u201cI\u2019ll take this one.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe green one tastes like lemon-lime,\u201d she sings.<\/p>\n

I make a face and stick the gold one under my pillow. We chat a little while longer until Dad comes by and says that the car is ready to take Greta home.<\/p>\n

It’s getting late and so I get ready for bed. It occurs to me that I should have had Greta bring over something sexy to wear to bed. I have nothing that might stir a boy’s interest. My bras are plain and so are my underwear and what’s not plain is rather juvenile.<\/p>\n

Perhaps I could filch something from mom. I creep out of my bedroom and down the hall to my parents’ bedroom. Their door is closed but I hear their voices which means there is no way I can get inside. Turning I start to head back to my room when I hear my name and then Nathan’s. Instead of leaving, I draw closer and press my ear to the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cAren’t we just saying sure Nate come and defile our angel all you want. In fact let me buy you the condoms. Need any help slipping them on?” It is dad sounding surly and gruff, a pretty unusual state for him. He’s always easy going with mom and me. I make a sad face for him. I hate that my daddy is sad because of me but does he really think I’m never ever going to have sex? That sounds pretty dismal. How would I ever have kids? How would they have grandkids?”If her current medical regime wouldn’t have made birth control contraindicated, I would have put her on the pill.” Mom’s voice is farther away and I can barely make out her words. My guess is she’s standing in the adjacent bathroom and Dad is sitting on the sofa in front of the fireplace in their bedroom. He’s probably drinking a scotch or something amber in color. I’ve learned that anything that is darker than say a mountain dew is going to make me sick.”I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that sunshine. “Mom laughs. “Didn’t we make this decision together that we’d rather have Charlotte experience safe sex than explore it with strangers without protection?””Sure but we made that decision when she was eight and still called me Daddy unironically. I thought I had a good twenty years before she’d start thinking about sex.”Really dad? When I was thirty? I stop making my sad face for him. Now I’m frowning.\u00a0“Would you really not want your baby girl to enjoy sex Bo? That’s your wish for her? “” I feel like this is a trick question. Like there’s no right answer.”I hear him shift on the sofa and then footsteps. Mom’s voice is louder, clearer now. She’s joined him on the sofa.\u00a0\u00a0“I’m not ready for her to grow up either but I don’t see how we stop it and I’d rather she learn about stuff from someone like Nathan who’d gnaw off his own arm before he hurt her than some other stupid North Prep punk.””When you put it like that…” Dad sounds reluctant but he’s obviously given up the fight. I grin to myself.”Besides it’s only for a short while and I out the fear of God into Nate this morning.””You did? Because I worked him over last night with the whole I trust you not to betray the goodwill of your Aunt and me.”There’s a slapping of hands as if they’ve just high-five each other. My parents.\u00a0Gah<\/i>.”We make such a good team,” says my mom.”I know,” dad says smugly. “Now swing your leg over here, sunshine, and let’s practice some of our other team moves. Like the one where you–” His voice is abruptly cut off and there aren’t any more words, just noises that gross me out. Wrinkling my nose I straighten up only to run into a Nate sized wall.\u00a0He places a hand over my mouth to stifle a yelp of surprise and then winks at me, slowly dragging me down the hall to my bedroom.\u201cSo your parents still get it on regularly?\u201d he grins.Inside my room, I flop onto the bed and try to shut out the visual. \u201cGross, Nate. Really.\u201d\u201cWhy\u2019s that gross you out? How do you think you were born.\u201d\u201cDo you really want to think about your parents having sex?\u201dHe shrugs. \u201cIt\u2019s not like I\u2019m thinking about it everyday but don\u2019t you think that it\u2019s cool that they\u2019re so into each other even after all this time? I mean, yeah, it\u2019s not like I want to watch my dad chase my mom around the living room every night but makes me glad that they still work for each other years after they met. Don’t you want that?”I do and I know who I want it with.He nudges me over and climbs onto the bed next to me. Plumping the pillow his hand brushes something and it crackles.\u00a0Oh no, the condom.\u00a0<\/i>Nate sits up and pulls it out. \u201cWhat\u2019s this\u201d His face looks hard.\u201cA condom?\u201d\u201cI know but why do you have it under your pillow?\u201dI blow him a raspberry. \u201cWhy do you think?\u201d There\u2019s nothing for me to do but brazen it out.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho gave this to you?\u201d His hand is crumpling the condom and I\u2019m worrying about the integrity of the rubber.<\/p>\n

Reaching over, I pluck it from his hand and try to smooth it out a little perturbed he\u2019s jumping to some crazy assumptions and is ruining my plans.\u00a0\u201cI think you ruined it.\u201d<\/p>\n

He takes it from me and throws it across the room.\u00a0\u201cI didn\u2019t ruin it and you\u2019re not going to need it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGeesh, Nathan, you\u2019re as bad as my dad.\u201d I lean up on one elbow to stare at him, acutely conscious that I\u2019m wearing an old snoopy t shirt and some\u00a0sweatpants. I get really cold easily these days. I\u2019m unsexy and frail and probably the last\u00a0thing that Nathan wants. These past weeks he\u2019s been giving me attention has probably all been out pity. Fine then, I\u2019ll use the damn condom with someone else. I drop on my back and start rifling through all the North Prep guys that might help me out. I\u2019d ask Nick tomorrow. He\u2019d make a face but\u00a0ultimately he\u2019d help me.<\/p>\n

Nathan runs a hand through his hair and falls back on the bed.\u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s not like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Not like what?\u00a0<\/i>I think. I burst out,\u00a0\u201cIs it because I’m too thin? My port too ugly?”<\/p>\n

“Do you really think I’m that shallow?\u201d He looms over me now, his big body like a plank of wood. Stiff, straight and hard.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is your problem then?\u201d I yell at him.<\/p>\n

He slaps a hand over my mouth to\u00a0stifle the noise. Sitting up, he drags me over to sit on the edge of the bed and then he drops to his\u00a0haunches between my legs. He lays his head sideways so that one cheek rests against my knee. It\u2019s the most intimate position I\u2019ve ever had with a boy and it\u2019s setting my heart racing. He kisses the scar I got on my knee when I dragged\u00a0myself over the carpet in the television room not realizing that Nick had left his Leatherman tool\u00a0open. I\u2019d cut myself and then Nick and I were afraid to tell anyone so it got infected and healed badly. Nick got a whooping and so did I.\u00a0\u00a0Nate was mad at both of us for a week and hid Nick\u2019s pocket knife. I\u2019m not sure if Nick has ever gotten his original one back although one of our Dad\u2019s friends gifted him a new one a couple of years ago.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re beautiful Charlotte. With your soft hair and your port and your scars, you\u2019re everything I would want in a girl. Don\u2019t you believe differently,\u201d he turns his head again so I can see his brown velvet eyes staring straight at me.<\/p>\n

I believe.<\/p>\n

He kisses up a little higher, to the top of my thigh. \u201cI love your laugh. Your willingness to put up with the Jackson boys\u2019 shit constantly. Your endless optimism. No one has your spirit.\u201d<\/p>\n

He rises and pushes me backward on the bed so that I\u2019m caged on either side by his muscular arms.\u00a0Why Nate, you haven\u2019t been skipping arm day have you?<\/i>\u00a0I think ridiculously because I\u2019m nervous and excited and I\u2019m trying not to\u00a0squeal.<\/p>\n

He is going to kiss me. His face comes closer and I lick my lips in anticipation. This is it. Lower. This is what I\u2019ve been waiting for my whole short life. This is why I have to keep living so that I can remember this event over and over and over. Slowly his lips brush mine. I want to keep my eyes open but they are drug down as if there is a string attached to my lips.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just want to take things slow. Make them right for you. Do you trust me?\u201d<\/p>\n

I nod.
\n“We can’t go back. What we have between us,\u201d he waves his finger back and forth, from his chest to time, “will never be the same. We will have to fight to keep Nick with us. We have to fight to keep together. No matter what. Will you do that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI will,\u201d I vow. I loved him so much for remembering Nick\u2014that we were all unit.\u00a0\u00a0And that he wanted me to fight for him and for us.<\/p>\n

He bends forward then and presses his mouth against mine again. His arms are shaking with the effort of something, some unknown force either holding him back or pushing him forward. He\u2019s straining with the power of it but his lips against mine after featherweight, light and without pressure. It\u2019s a hello kiss. It\u2019s a\u00a0we\u2019re going to get to know each other one new second at a time<\/i>\u00a0kiss. It\u2019s endlessly sweet and wonderful but it\u2019s not enough.<\/p>\n

So I grab hold of his wrists and it\u2019s easy to tumble him down but he turns at the last\u00a0minute so he\u2019s lying on his side, still kissing me, still telling me that kissing me is all he wants for now. He threads his left hand through my right but his other hand is no longer occupied with holding him up and so it drifts downward until it finds the curve of my\u00a0waist. There\u00a0it stops and finds purchase, gripping me tight. He won\u2019t let me get closer but as our lips move\u00a0against each other I feel his fingers bite into my skin and that movement tells me that he\u2019s so close to the very edge of something that he doesn\u2019t even notice that his touch might be a little too tight. I revel in that\u2014that I\u2019m making Nathan Jackson feel out of control.<\/p>\n

But his iron will is still in charge and so we are just kissing, loving each other with the soft movement of our lips against each other.<\/p>\n

If you want the next scene delivered to your inbox on Friday’s, sign up for the newsletter here<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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